Posts

7 Reasons Why Trying to Change too much is Wasteful: Trust Your Gut and Stay True to Yourself

/in /by

In a world that constantly demands change and adaptation, it’s easy to feel pressured to mold ourselves to fit every new situation, trend, or expectation. From the workplace to social circles, the urge to adapt can often seem overwhelming. However, there’s a compelling argument for why it’s wasteful to constantly try to adapt: instead, we should follow our gut instincts and refine our appearances to the environment without changing who we are at the core. Here’s why staying true to yourself is not only more fulfilling but also more effective in the long run.

1. Authenticity is Powerful

When you stay true to who you are, you project authenticity. People are drawn to those who are genuine because it fosters trust and builds stronger relationships. Authenticity allows for deeper connections and more meaningful interactions, both personally and professionally. When you try to adapt too much, you risk losing the essence of who you are, making it harder for others to connect with you on a real level.

2. Adaptation Can Lead to Identity Loss

Constantly adapting to fit new situations can dilute your sense of self. When you bend too much to the expectations of others, you may lose sight of your own values, desires, and goals. Over time, this can lead to a crisis of identity where you no longer recognize who you are or what you stand for. Staying true to yourself ensures that you maintain a strong, clear sense of identity.

3. Following Your Gut is Often More Reliable

Our gut feelings are often a reflection of our true selves and our accumulated life experiences. Intuition can be a powerful guide, often leading us in the right direction more reliably than trying to overthink or over-adapt to every new situation. When you trust your instincts, you make decisions that align more closely with your true self, leading to greater satisfaction and success.

4. Refinement Over Reinvention

Instead of reinventing yourself to fit every new situation, consider refining how you present yourself. Refinement is about enhancing what’s already there—polishing your strengths and managing your weaknesses—without fundamentally changing who you are. This approach allows you to stay authentic while still being flexible and responsive to your environment.

5. The Inefficiency of Constant Change

Adapting requires a significant investment of time and energy. Constantly changing yourself to fit new molds is not only exhausting but also inefficient. This energy could be better spent on pursuing your passions, developing your skills, and deepening your existing relationships. By focusing on refining your appearance and approach rather than your core identity, you can conserve your energy for what truly matters.

6. Confidence and Self-Worth

Confidence comes from knowing and accepting who you are. When you constantly try to adapt to others’ expectations, you may undermine your self-worth, leading to self-doubt and insecurity. Embracing your true self fosters self-confidence, which is attractive and empowering. When you believe in yourself, others are more likely to believe in you too.

7. Long-Term Happiness

Happiness is closely tied to authenticity and self-acceptance. When you live in alignment with your true self, you are more likely to experience genuine happiness and contentment. The stress of constantly trying to adapt can lead to dissatisfaction and burnout. Instead, focus on refining how you express yourself within your environment, allowing your true personality to shine through.

Conclusion

In a society that often values conformity and constant change, it’s essential to remember the power of staying true to yourself. While adaptation has its place, it’s wasteful to constantly reshape yourself to meet external expectations. Trust your gut instincts and focus on refining your appearance to fit the environment without compromising your core identity. By doing so, you’ll foster deeper connections, maintain a strong sense of self, and ultimately lead a more fulfilling and authentic life.

-Ankur Shiv Bhandari ( ASB)

“A bend in the road is not the end of the road…Unless you fail to make the turn.” – Helen Keller

/0 Comments/in /by

“A bend in the road is not the end of the road…Unless you fail to make the turn.”- Helen Keller

This post is dedicated to all who might be looking at new options either because of recent job cuts or otherwise. There might be a few doubts creeping in, or you might be receiving undesired statements from the world. Nothing and no one can decide what your future looks like except YOU!

I came across a LinkedIn post from an individual some time ago where he listed down an array of demotivators thrown at him when he was trying to start a new life in a new Country, such as “You will not find a job in your field”, “You will not be able to have a senior position if you want to settle here”,” You will need to adjust your expectations downwards” etc. etc. He then proceeded to proudly share that “He was glad he only listened to himself” as he was now on the Board of Directors of a reputable organisation within that year.

I assume most of us have encountered such situations in our personal & professional lives where we are faced with similar statements/doubts expressed on capabilities. There can be one of three outcomes in such a situation:

1) Get demotivated/stop attempting

2) Not affected/carry on as planned

3) Challenge becomes a huge motivation/multiplies the effort.

In my personal experience, these have actually proved to be significant motivators to try to accomplish what has been stated as “can’t be done”. Granted that subject to the limits of science and the supernatural not everything will be possible but I hope you get my gist :-).

It was the year 1993; I had just given my year ten exams (sort of equivalent to GCSEs) and had about four months of holidays coming up. Although it has been quite common for 14+-year-olds to take up jobs in Europe, the Americas etc., in the Northern Indian town of Faridabad where I grew up, it was almost unheard of (the landscape has changed a bit over the last decade or so but still not common) due to multiple factors such as too young, family reputation, limited belief in capability etc.

However, in very simple terms, in my heart, I wanted to learn the value of money and expressed a desire to my family that I wanted to work. You guessed the response right…” You can’t do it”. So the third outcome, as above, “ Challenge becomes a huge motivation”, kicked in, and I tried to find a way. As luck would have it, I learned about a boy known to my family who had started going to Delhi as he had taken up a job there. I spoke to him and was told that he works for a toy company. Somehow convinced my father to accompany this boy called Happy for one day and see if it was something decent to be involved in.

As agreed with Happy, I reached his home the next day at 7:30 AM to go to Delhi with him. Not sure why, but surprise, surprise, he had left without me. Now definitely couldn’t just go back home and miss this golden chance, and in those days, there were no cell phones, so I couldn’t contact Happy either. I remembered Happy had told me that the company he works for is based in Delhi’s “East of Kailash “area and had shared the company name. Armed with these two pieces of information, without ever having travelled alone to Delhi and that too on Public transport, I headed for the old Faridabad train station(Google hadn’t graced our lives yet:-)). At the station enquired about the train stop I should get off at in Delhi to reach East of Kailash and learned about Okhla, my destination station for the day. Once I reached East of Kailash ( it was not a couple of blocks, more like a small town), I started enquiring about this Toy company, and after about an hour, luck smiled, and a phone shop( called STD/ISD booths in India) which this toy company used to route their long distance calls gave me their address.

Late morning, I arrived at A3-East of Kailash, which was originally a house but now had offices in the basement & ground floor and someone’s residence on the upper floors. The toy company’s office was in the basement. When I entered the office, my friend Happy was there and was suitably surprised. Anyway, I spoke to the boss and found out that this particular office employed people for door-to-door selling of their Soft toys and board games. They said they would give me a trial for a week, and I jumped on the chance.

So that day in April 1993, armed with around 20kgs of toys and games on my shoulder, with a desire to learn and motivated further by “You can’t do it”, at the grand age of 15, on the streets of South Delhi was my first day at work! The journey of a salesman had begun.

That day defined my life. I ended up working there for the remaining three months, and that is where my love for Sales was born. There are many other memories of knocking on doors, my first sale etc., which I might share in future posts. Since then, there had to be a component of work along with my studies, and I ended up working part-time all through my graduation in Sales roles.

Most of the time “You Can’t do it” challenge has worked positively for me as a motivator and as a catalyst to help push boundaries, get out of my comfort zone, etc., on multiple occasions. It is not surprising that the same must have played a considerable role in the lives of many people we have come to respect, such as Muhammad Ali, Nelson Mandela, Richard Branson etc., and must be a key ingredient in their success.

So next time someone says to you,” You can’t do it,”.. just say and feel “, That’s Wonderful!” Enjoy all the hairpins and bends the road of life presents and push on.

Bon Voyage

Ankur Shiv Bhandari

Google vs ChatGPT | Shopper vs Cook | The Role of Intent

/0 Comments/in /by

ChatGPT, this very techie-sounding word, came to my attention only a few weeks ago. I did not make much of this initially until all of my social media feeds started getting flooded by thoughts/articles/videos, and every type of content possible on how wonderful this was. I believe it took only five days for ChatGPT to have a million users.

To feed my curiosity, I tried to sign up and see the wonder for myself. Well, it was running at capacity at the time, so it took another couple of days before I got access. So what came next was.. hmm..Interesting.

The use of the tool and the clarity of results left me pleasantly surprised. It is but natural that a Chat/language-based search tool is compared to the Czar of search, Google, and that is what I did. I tried comparing these two on some basic terms and then on slightly advanced terms. For example, I am interested in Engineering Psychology and our business; Color Parlour works in packaging design. So I thought, let me find out what it says about this topic. Lo and behold, ChatGPT came back with quite a decent definition of Engineering Psychology, including its alternate name around human factors; it was fantastic. In comparison, the exact search on Google helped me arrive at similar information but was packaged in different sources that Google introduced me to.

Thinking about this, a simple comparison came to my mind of a Shopper vs a Cook. I had a need, and what Google did was shopped around the net for me and presented me with some good options to consume the content that I felt met my requirements. I sampled a few of them and then took a consumption call. In comparison, ChatGPT tried to satisfy my need by cooking up a solution itself. It looked around for the right ingredients, mixed them up using its own recipe, and provided me with a complete dish of content to consume. It was not as if I wanted Pizza, and it gave me Pasta; it was a Pizza alright.

A vital role that search engines play is understanding Intent. Google and other established search engines assist individuals and businesses in understanding and acting on Intent. As a recap, in the online world, there are broadly four types of Intent:

  1. Information: Search focused on finding information
  2. Navigation: Search concentrated on getting to a destination, e.g: getting to Linkedin
  3. Transaction: Search for Goods and Services to buy.
  4. Commercial Investigation: Pre-search to transactions to investigate purchase options.

Although ChatGPT has had a strong start in the area of Intent focused on information consumption, it will be very interesting to see how the other areas and beyond are supported in times to come.

Whether we need a Shopper or a Cook will, of course depend on individual needs. However, will look forward to continuing interesting developments in the space.

Ankur Shiv Bhandari

 

#chatgpt #googlevschatgpt #shopper #intent

Aek Life- One Chance to Live: A perspective by Ankur Shiv Bhandari

/0 Comments/in /by

I think I heard while watching a TV series once, that the day we are born, the day we come into this world, the countdown starts of us leaving this world one day. This is the ultimate truth for everyone, it is just that the duration of our time here is different for every individual whether it is days, weeks, months, years, decades or maybe a century for some. Unless someone has a secret stash of Elixir hidden somewhere or until the fountain of youth is truly discovered, this is the reality of life. I would not call it a hard, rough or crude reality as is heard sometimes as whether it is hard and rough or smooth and enjoyable is to a great measure dependent on each one of us.

The undeniable fact is that this particular innings that we have is “One” or “Aek” composed of moments that might be of joy, sorrow, exhilaration, depression, wonder, surprise, enlightenment or just pure fun. An effort to live each of those moments fully is “Aek Life- One Chance to Live.”

I would like to think that I try to live my life with this principle of “Aek Life”. Yes, I cannot control everything and yes, I have many moments of despair, frustration and sometimes complete annoyance but as life has taken me on its rollercoaster , I have come to realise that it is not what happens to you that defines you or how you capture that as a moment of your life, rather it is how you respond to it that can largely result in the type of feeling you retain or the memory you capture. In my recent readings, I came across this Stoic’s prayer which I think helps me greatly and I try my best to incorporate it into my daily life. It goes like this: “ Dear God- Give me the Serenity to understand the things I cannot change, Give me the Courage to change the things I can and Give me the Wisdom to know the difference”

Through this medium of “Aek Life”, I will try to share my own experiences and thoughts on trying to live this “One” life as fully as we can, in spite of and with everything that this journey brings. Where possible and relevant, I will try to get others to join me in the conversation. I would welcome thoughts from all of you on your experiences and perspectives as well.

Life is not always what we want it to be, or let me rephrase, Life is not always how we think we want it to be. There are many mysteries which life reveals only at the right time and it might be that if you don’t get what you desire might be the best thing that happens to you. We will try to form perspectives on some of these mysteries as we go on this journey and try to augment every moment we have in this “ Aek life- One chance to Live”

Thank you

Bhandari's-BRIA-Model-of-Intent

Bhandari’s BRIA Model of Intent – TEDx Talk

/0 Comments/in , /by

What causes a sports team to overhaul its dismal performance to an outstanding one within days?
What drives differences in performance between individuals?
What leads to discriminatory behaviours such as Racism?
What could be a key factor that leads to crimes?
What creates a sea change in political outcomes for political parties?
What causes shoppers and consumers to prefer and/or purchase a particular product or service over others?
What has the power to bring about a monumental change in the results for an organisation?

The word is “Intent”

It is the generation and power of intent that leads to or prevents actions. An understanding of how intent is created and what causes it to have the right strength, that can lead to action can both enable and prevent certain behaviours.

A result of my continuing study on “ The Role of Intent” has resulted in the BRIA Model. The BRIA Model tries to bring the process of creation of Intent and its correlation with action to life.

My TEDx talk on the subject provides more detail and I will continue to further build on the principle. I will try to share thoughts through this website and also via “The Intentonomics® Podcast” which can be accessed from my website and will also be available on major podcasting platforms.

ASB-TEDx-Talk

I wanted to, But … | The Role of Intent | Ankur Shiv Bhandari TEDx Talk

/0 Comments/in /by

In this TEDx talk, Ankur shares his thoughts on a key ingredient for success and happiness, Intent. Ankur talks about how to generate Intent and harness it so that it leads to Action bringing desired results. Ankur brings this to life using a simple model and real-life applications in the world of business, family, law, personal relations, public sector and many others. Break barriers to achievement and contentment through learnings from this talk by generating Intent and converting it into Action.